Updating post from Reddit.
I've recently moved into a room in a city in England, and have been here for 2 weeks. Over the last 2 weeks, there have been at least 4 instances of loud arguing late into the night, to the point of screaming. Nothing physical as of yet, and I'd happily step in if so. I'm going to talk to my landlord tomorrow about the fighting and see what can be done. I'll message him in writing and at least get him to confirm it's happening.
My issue is I have signed a 6-month 'rental agreement', so am I on the hook for this full contract as a tenant/lodger? I'll happily forfeit my bond, but losing £7k is kind of rough, to be honest. But I can't sit here at night and listen to this abuse - it sucks, and isn't what I signed up for.
Shelter has some good advice on this. Basically it depends on if you have a break clause.
Chat to them about it, they may also let you off early or adjust their behavior.
Yeah no break clause unfortunately.
I'm worried to talk to him about it because I'm worried I won't be able to keep myself calm, if one of my friends ever spoke to a partner that way, I'd drag him out of the house. It was honestly wild. I've never heard a man raise his voice to a woman like that
I think it's important to keep a diary of times and dates of incidents and whether it's during 'quiet hours' or during the day also try and record the sound to prevent it being your word against theirs and them minimising the arguments into disagreements.
You could also try looking at Marshall Rosenbergs non-violent communication (NVC) to help your request be heard and give it the best chance of success.
The basic framework is observation, feeling, need request.
When I hear arguments that sometimes result in screaming in the house, I feel (anxious, unsettled, scared, powerless, nervous, worried, afraid, uneasy, vulnerable, stressed, uncomfortable) because I have a need for (calm, safety, order, warmth, peace, ease, rest, relaxation, harmony) would you be open to allowing me to leave early so I can get my needs met?
Pick the feelings and needs that are alive in you.
When I hear loud arguments, including shouting, in the house, I feel anxious and unsafe because I have a strong need for peace and a sense of security in my home. Would you be open to letting me end the tenancy early so I can find a living situation that better meets those needs?
Or
I’ve been feeling quite anxious and unsettled when there are loud arguments in the house, especially when they involve shouting. I really value having a calm and safe space to live in. Would you be willing to consider letting me leave the tenancy early so I can take care of those needs?
There are some great videos on YouTube of Marshall Rosenberg. I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing this.
Good luck.
Hey I really appreciate this reply, and I'm familiar with non-violent communication.
Put simply, I don't wanna live in a house with a man who would talk that way to a woman, and I sure as hell don't want to be paying his rent.
£7k as a bond? Normally it’s a month’s rent!!
sorry it's 7 k total if I'm on the hook for paying the full 6 months rental.agreement, 1 month bond, and 6 months rent that I'll be liable for because I don't have a break.clause.
Don't take my word for it, but I imagine the only way you're on the hook is if they have a way to chase you (i.e., your next address?).
You could always say let me go or I'll file a report with the police (and btw if you're living in the house and you hear abusive behaviour but don't report it, you're enabling that behaviour in my opinion, but that's neither here nor there).
Most people don't know how to utilise the system, and I doubt he'll come after you for leaving. You might lose your deposit though.
7000£ for a room for 6 months ? And this may not even be in London!
Have you reported the ‘abuse’ to the police ?
No I haven't, and I probably wouldn't, it's not my job to make a claim on behalf of anyone. But if I had a partner screaming at me like that, I would absolutely consider it abuse. I've never heard a bloke scream at a woman like that.
So you are a lodger not a tenent. Statutory rights for live in landlords are being able to get rid of a lodger with reasonable notice (one pay period) regardless of what any contract says (different in scotland). So that goes for you too. One pay periods notice then leave. They don't need to protect the deposit and it might be difficult to get it back (small claims court would be your only option if you feel they are withholding it without cause).
I'm a live in landlord with my partner and we have had arguements sometimes. I do try to keep them quiet so as not to effect the lodgers but it's not always possible. Honestly it's a little embarrassing but they pass quickly and then everything is back to normal. An extended day's long arguement isn't that unusual. If it keeps happening I'd mention something about it but ultimately if you move in with any couple or anyone who is in a relationship there is the potential for arguements in the house between them.
Ok thats good to know. So I can give a months notice and bail. I don't have to be in thr property either I'm assuming during that notice. I can just pay my months rent on the first, give my months notice, and leave. They can keep my bond, £1000 isn't worth the Hassel
Honestly if you want to do that and to mitigate your loss I'd give a months notice but say you are moving out immediately (do this once you have moved all your stuff out if you can do that without them realising all the better) and tell them to keep the deposit to cover the months rent (Assuming they are about the same amount?) Then block them and not look back.
Yeah I cant share a house with a bloke who's gonna talk to a woman that way. Their relationship is their business but I can't be around him, or respect him enough to give him any money in rent.
I paid 3 months rent up front, so I'll try to get that back too
Arguments in the same house? You can report them to the landlord and see if it helps. It's unlikely to help but worth a try and help in future when you complain and seek an early exit from tenancy because of it.
Noting the events may help.
It’s kind of unlikely to help if the landlord is the one doing the arguing…
AHH.. na, probably not helpful.
Doesn't the title say the landlord is the one doing the arguing ?